Extra Ordinary Trust

"My brother and sisters,

whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy,

because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance;

and let endurance have its full effect,

so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.

If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God,

who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you.

But ask in faith, never doubting,

for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea,

driven and tossed by the wind; for the doubter,

being double-minded and unstable in every way,

must not expect to receive anything from the Lord."

--James 1:2-8

I don't believe I have ever devoted much attention to the book of James. It is one of those very short books, only five chapters in length, near the end of the New Testament following all of the letters of Paul and it is just not one that is regularly or often quoted. Yesterday afternoon, I was surfing the web though and stumbled upon a website that had a quote from the book of James which triggered my interest, so I pulled out my Bible and began to read. Hmmm...there are no coincidences in life, only God-incidences! A lot of what James had to say to the twelve tribes in the Dispersion, he also had to say to me as a good bit of his letter spoke directly to my present situation with things I needed to read. One of my regular, repeated prayers is, "Lord, speak to me in a way I can understand." and when I remember to pray that, he usually does.

"Whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of faith produces endurance..." - James 1:2-3 Faith. Little word, huge meaning! Faith is one of those constants of the Christian lingo that is often tossed around so much that we in The Church sometimes lose sight of what it's all about, until we are in a crisis and called upon by God to exhibit it. Faith is one of those words, like friendship, that everybody knows what it means until you ask them to define it. It is difficult (to say the least) to box up such an enormous word like "faith" and express it through our limited vocabularies when it is indeed so beyond ourselves. British rocker George Michael told us in the 1980's that we "Gotta Have Faith" and our own Bon Jovi in the 1990's told us to "Keep the Faith." The Hebrews are told in the eleventh chapter of the letter to them that it is "the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen..." and it goes on to describe the faith of the Israelite heroes as examples for us. Jesus told us that an amount the size of a mustard seed was enough, but from where do we get it "in a world so filled with hatred"?

As a child (and still sometimes to this day, although not as often), I used to wake up at night out of a sound sleep crying in pain with a terrible, intense cramp in the back of my calves, which now I know to be commonly called a "Charlie Horse." My mother used to tell me as she tried to rub them away that they were "Growing Pains" and an unavoidable part of life. I remember wishing that growing up didn't have to hurt so much... but we all know that both figuratively and literally, growing up - whether in the physical, emotional, or spiritual realm - does indeed hurt and sometimes much, much more than we would care to experience. At the of age 35, I find myself right now in the middle of a growth spurt and it still hurts just in different ways.... my calves, they're alright for now anyway! ;o) So, here is my challenge:

"The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become." -- Charles du Bois

I gave someone whom I consider to be a friend a candle a few months ago. It was a simple tea-light candle in an approximately four inch stone-like cube inscribed with the words from Jeremiah 29:11, "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord,...to give you a future with hope." Not printed on the candle in the ellipsis are the the words, "plans for your welfare and not for harm." Those can be difficult words in which to maintain faith in the midst of a growth spurt when the pain is most evident, but that essentially points me back to du Bois' quote. The only problem is that our vision of a future with hope may not be the same as God's vision for us that is more than we could ever imagine and we've got to be willing to sacrifice our vision for his. The end of the chapter of Hebrews on the great heroes of the faith contains these words, that while filled with all the riches God has to offer are indeed scary while we are in the middle of it all and our vision is slipping away: "Yet all these, though they were commended for their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better..."

On a personal level, I spent most of my twenties living a fairly contented life savoring the joys of being newly married, doing work that I believed to be making a difference in the world and being an active part of a vibrant faith community (the experiences with whom I did not know at the time would sustain me for years to come). Towards the end of my twenties, although I was basically satisfied with where I had been and where I thought I was going, there began to be as Meg Ryan's character in "You've Got Mail," Kathleen Kelly, tells her then boyfriend Frank regarding their eminent break-up that although "there is no one else; there is the idea of someone else." In the smallest corners of my mind there began to be the idea of becoming someone else. I stumbled across the quote which launched my collection and made it my theme, my motto, my tagline. It was even my signature line on my emails for a season. It became my catalyst for change:

"It is never too late to be what you might
have been." - George Eliot, English novelist

Simultaneously, I began a fascination with the biographies of people who are well regarded in their fields of endeavor but did not begin in those fields until at least thirty years of age.

To be continued.... If you want the rest of the story, come back later.

"The whole problem with the world 

is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, 

but wiser people so full of doubts." 

-- Bertrand Russell