"I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips . . .
I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears . . .
his praise will always be on my lips . . .
I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears . . .
Taste and see that the LORD is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him . . .
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him . . .
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and
saves those who are crushed in spirit . . .
The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him."
- Psalm 34:1, 4, 8, 17, 18 and 22, King David
saves those who are crushed in spirit . . .
The LORD redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him."
- Psalm 34:1, 4, 8, 17, 18 and 22, King David
I don't believe that I could ever tire of reading the Psalms. They were written thousands of years ago, but for the most part they could have just as easily been written today. Sometimes I marvel at the continuity of the human experience. There is a tendency in our society to think one's experiences, ideas and problems are unique to one's self, "I am special," "no one could possibly understand what I'm going through," "It just isn't the same." My mother-in-law is one of the biggest proponents of this type of thinking, it is difficult sometimes to bite my tongue. I believe this could not be further from the truth though. "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." --John 10:10 In Christ we will experience all that there is to experience - the good, the bad, and the ugly, but is it not the same that our forefathers [and mothers ;o) ] have experienced from the beginning of time?? Somehow, I find comfort in that.
In Psalm 35, my absolute favorite lines are from verses 21 & 22: " 'They open wide their eyes against me; they say Aha, Aha, our eyes have seen it.' You have seen it Lord; do not be silent!" For some reason that line always tickles me when I read it. I know those people! They aren't only from thousands of years ago in King David's time, I see them every day. They live in 2007 and they are still saying "Aha, Aha" with their index finger pointing towards another. The funny thing about those people though is they never seem to find reason to point that finger in the mirror. Perhaps you know them too. But even in their "Aha's" it is up to us to find the blessings, for without the trials would there be a need of grace?
Some of the "Aha-ers" (as I like to call them in my own private vocabulary) had been the cause of, for me, an "Alexander Day." I was an elementary education major in college where I developed a love of children's literature and the wonderful ways they capture such basic life lessons with child-like candidness and beauty. If you read this blog for any duration you'll probably get quite a list of my favorites from that genre. There are certain works of children's literature that I believe should be on everyone's "Must Read" list, regardless of age. Judith Viorst's classic, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, is just such a book. In it Alexander is having a day filled with what to him are the worst possible experiences that he could ever have to endure, so he decides to remedy the situation by planning to move to Australia, where surely life must be better -- that is, until his mother convinces him that even in Australia they have days just like that too sometimes!
Anyway, back on track to the telling of my Extraordinary Grace experience. My day started out with a grey cloud dancing over my head and it developed into "severe thunderstorm warning" like conditions as the day progressed. My husband is the Director of Bands at a local high school, one of the worlds' most noble, mostly unsung heroes. He is amazing at what he does and the way he transforms the lives of ordinary teenagers over the course of four year periods. He is truly one of those people who makes a difference and is changing the world one life at a time. I admire him more than he will probably ever comprehend. Running a multi-faceted, successful high school band program in today's world is no simple undertaking, it is a life calling.
This is where my quote of the day comes into play:
To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a little better; whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is the meaning of success." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Success is what you make it. Not what others tell you it is.
My husband understands this about success, that is one of the reasons why I love him so much. He "gets it!" Although to not understand it and do the work that he does would, I think, bring one to the point of insanity. Being the person in charge of such an organization puts one in a position to endure lots of criticism while you must attempt to create a program of success in the eyes of five different audiences and their ideas about such success are usually quite different. The audiences being the student population (for whom the program was truly created), their parents/boosters who must work to financially support the running of the organization, the school administration looking at measurable achievement and entertainment(scores, evaluations, assessment providing meaningful educational goals while still providing entertainment), music professionals (adjudicators) and collegues, and the community at large who simply wants a band to play at their parade or give a concert for their event (because ah, doesn't everybody love a band?) and even they have no concept that the other four audiences exist. Finding the balance between all of those different audience perceptions as well as the director's own vision for the program is an incredible task.
This year has been an especially difficult one, after almost fifteen years in "the business" he has really seriously considered changing professions on more than one occasion because one of the five audiences (the parent/booster group) has upset the delicate balance in a very negative way. This year the group is filled with "Aha-ers." Today was the day of our annual end-of-year awards banquet that we have taken to calling "The Celebration of Achievements" The Aha-ers had spent their time pointing out every possible fault they could find with the way my husband does his job, meanwhile neglecting doing their own jobs in the team of running the program. As his wife, life partner, lover and best-friend, I shoulder some of the stress that evolves from that as well.
My "severe thunderstorm warning" like conditions were already brewing (because of a situation at my own work) when I showed up at the school in the late afternoon, after work to finish printing the last few certificates. The organizing of said event as far as the banquet portion of it is a designated booster activity. This year no advance preparations were made by anyone, but nonetheless their expectations for a wonderful evening remained equally as high as ever. No one had stepped up to the plate to make things happen. No hall was reserved, so we had it in the school cafeteria and auditorium. No one prepared tickets in advance and helped sell them, so it was poorly attended and our caterer had trouble knowing what to prepare. No decorations. At thirty minutes before it was supposed to start, not one table had been set up. It is Harley-Davidson Bike Week here (a traffic nightmare) so the food was late arriving. Once it was set up, a Sterno can caught on fire and filled the room with smoke. No parents would lift a finger to help in the serving line, as we could not afford hired servers, so two alumni served the entire crowd. Not enough funds had been raised throughout the year, with the ever-increasing transportation costs and gas prices, to afford real trophies this year, so it was all lying on the certificates that it was my responsibility to create and have ready.
While all of the banquet portion of the evening was going awry, I was attempting to finish the few certificates that I had left to print, which would have been a very easy manageable task had technology cooperated, but alas it would not! The first computer I linked into was having a fan problem and would overheat and shut off, the second had an impossibly slow printer and at the rate it was going, there was no way I would ever finish in time. Even if everything else goes wrong, what is an awards celebration without the awards??? I was losing it, big time! The thunder was roaring, I could see lightning in the distance. I was snapping at my husband! Things were going from bad to worse in a downward spiral. I was obviously doing something wrong. I was trying to do something I could not do, I was trying to prevent the "Aha-ers" from being successful. I could not control what I was trying to control. I stopped. I found my husband who was also running around trying to save the day himself -- I stopped him. I hugged him (long and hard). I kissed him. I told him I was sorry for snapping at him. I told him how much I appreciated him and how much I loved him. It was brief really, but it was so meaningful and then he was off again trying to saving the day. Then when he left the room I was working in with the door locked behind him, I fell prostrate before the Lord and cried out "Lord have Mercy, Christ have Mercy, Lord have Mercy!" over and over then I got up and asked God to redirect me, help me to focus on what was really important, show me the way....and he did! "The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit . . .The LORD redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him."
Somehow what had been so difficult, went easy. The computer and printer started working. The people got fed and fell into conversation and fellowship with one another and made their way into the auditorium for the power-point/video and presentations. I finished-- the delays with the set-up and food had bought me more time! I thanked God!! I went into the auditorium and sat down on the stairs against the wall as unobtrusive as possible, my heart and my soul were at peace and it was then that I experienced His Extraordinary Grace as God showed me what was indeed really important.
My was hair was just pulled back, no make-up, and I never did have time to change into my "dress up" clothes - I was just wearing my old grey t-shirt that I wear to the gym, my capris, and my old strappy sandles that have seen better days, but the certificates were done and I decided I was going to just enjoy the rest of the night and be open to what God had instore. I ended up being more relaxed than I had at any other of these functions in the past fourteen years. The kids had produced the most professional, incredible, life-affirming video with pictures and music and the experience of their life with each other and my husband for the past year...watching it there was laughter and spontaneous applause and "oooh's" and "aaah's." This was their life -- they spend more hours with the band during their four years of high school than anywhere else, except perhaps sleeping. Next came superlative awards also created by the students... you remember those fun "Most likely to..." kind of things. The three presenters did an amazing job and made it so much more fun and memorable than any other class had in years past. They rented tuxes and presented them in the style of the academy awards with nominees, a Power Point and the whole nine yards! The kids had a blast with it. We were making memories. The color guard instructor, a college sophomore and alumni of the program, wanted to do something special for her kids since we could not afford real trophies, so she went searching for something and found and purchased with her own money these little oval smooth metal-like stones with words like "courage," "faith," "hope," "love," you know the kind. She had showed them to me in advance and told me, "I wanted to get these for them because that's what we're really about here, we're giving them 'life lessons.' That's what they need to take away from here." I wanted cry. She "got it!" I told her she was amazing and not to let anyone tell her otherwise as she too had spent a year under the watchful eyes of the "Aha-ers." Then came my husband's presentation of my little computer generated certificates that I had sweat over, which at this point almost seemed anti-climatic and then was followed by "The Senior Farewell Speeches." After four years together through the good times and the bad, you store up a lot of things that you want to say...and we let them. Each graduating senior of the program gets however long they would like at the podium to say their good-byes. I really did almost cry this time. The ways that this program has affected their lives, they are going into the world different people than their peers who had not experienced the unconditional love of an incredible man that guided them and helped them through some of the most difficult years of their lives to this point.
When it was over, I don't think anyone remembered that we had to have it in the undecorated school cafeteria, that a lot of parents didn't come, that the food was late, that the smoke alarms almost went off and no one would help serve...that I was frantically trying to finish the awards at the last minute. I know that's not what I'll remember most about the night. The storm clouds rolled away and I don't think a drop of rain ever actually fell, because when I went to my car I could see the stars. "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." -- Og Mandino
This year has been an especially difficult one, after almost fifteen years in "the business" he has really seriously considered changing professions on more than one occasion because one of the five audiences (the parent/booster group) has upset the delicate balance in a very negative way. This year the group is filled with "Aha-ers." Today was the day of our annual end-of-year awards banquet that we have taken to calling "The Celebration of Achievements" The Aha-ers had spent their time pointing out every possible fault they could find with the way my husband does his job, meanwhile neglecting doing their own jobs in the team of running the program. As his wife, life partner, lover and best-friend, I shoulder some of the stress that evolves from that as well.
My "severe thunderstorm warning" like conditions were already brewing (because of a situation at my own work) when I showed up at the school in the late afternoon, after work to finish printing the last few certificates. The organizing of said event as far as the banquet portion of it is a designated booster activity. This year no advance preparations were made by anyone, but nonetheless their expectations for a wonderful evening remained equally as high as ever. No one had stepped up to the plate to make things happen. No hall was reserved, so we had it in the school cafeteria and auditorium. No one prepared tickets in advance and helped sell them, so it was poorly attended and our caterer had trouble knowing what to prepare. No decorations. At thirty minutes before it was supposed to start, not one table had been set up. It is Harley-Davidson Bike Week here (a traffic nightmare) so the food was late arriving. Once it was set up, a Sterno can caught on fire and filled the room with smoke. No parents would lift a finger to help in the serving line, as we could not afford hired servers, so two alumni served the entire crowd. Not enough funds had been raised throughout the year, with the ever-increasing transportation costs and gas prices, to afford real trophies this year, so it was all lying on the certificates that it was my responsibility to create and have ready.
While all of the banquet portion of the evening was going awry, I was attempting to finish the few certificates that I had left to print, which would have been a very easy manageable task had technology cooperated, but alas it would not! The first computer I linked into was having a fan problem and would overheat and shut off, the second had an impossibly slow printer and at the rate it was going, there was no way I would ever finish in time. Even if everything else goes wrong, what is an awards celebration without the awards??? I was losing it, big time! The thunder was roaring, I could see lightning in the distance. I was snapping at my husband! Things were going from bad to worse in a downward spiral. I was obviously doing something wrong. I was trying to do something I could not do, I was trying to prevent the "Aha-ers" from being successful. I could not control what I was trying to control. I stopped. I found my husband who was also running around trying to save the day himself -- I stopped him. I hugged him (long and hard). I kissed him. I told him I was sorry for snapping at him. I told him how much I appreciated him and how much I loved him. It was brief really, but it was so meaningful and then he was off again trying to saving the day. Then when he left the room I was working in with the door locked behind him, I fell prostrate before the Lord and cried out "Lord have Mercy, Christ have Mercy, Lord have Mercy!" over and over then I got up and asked God to redirect me, help me to focus on what was really important, show me the way....and he did! "The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit . . .The LORD redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him."
Somehow what had been so difficult, went easy. The computer and printer started working. The people got fed and fell into conversation and fellowship with one another and made their way into the auditorium for the power-point/video and presentations. I finished-- the delays with the set-up and food had bought me more time! I thanked God!! I went into the auditorium and sat down on the stairs against the wall as unobtrusive as possible, my heart and my soul were at peace and it was then that I experienced His Extraordinary Grace as God showed me what was indeed really important.
My was hair was just pulled back, no make-up, and I never did have time to change into my "dress up" clothes - I was just wearing my old grey t-shirt that I wear to the gym, my capris, and my old strappy sandles that have seen better days, but the certificates were done and I decided I was going to just enjoy the rest of the night and be open to what God had instore. I ended up being more relaxed than I had at any other of these functions in the past fourteen years. The kids had produced the most professional, incredible, life-affirming video with pictures and music and the experience of their life with each other and my husband for the past year...watching it there was laughter and spontaneous applause and "oooh's" and "aaah's." This was their life -- they spend more hours with the band during their four years of high school than anywhere else, except perhaps sleeping. Next came superlative awards also created by the students... you remember those fun "Most likely to..." kind of things. The three presenters did an amazing job and made it so much more fun and memorable than any other class had in years past. They rented tuxes and presented them in the style of the academy awards with nominees, a Power Point and the whole nine yards! The kids had a blast with it. We were making memories. The color guard instructor, a college sophomore and alumni of the program, wanted to do something special for her kids since we could not afford real trophies, so she went searching for something and found and purchased with her own money these little oval smooth metal-like stones with words like "courage," "faith," "hope," "love," you know the kind. She had showed them to me in advance and told me, "I wanted to get these for them because that's what we're really about here, we're giving them 'life lessons.' That's what they need to take away from here." I wanted cry. She "got it!" I told her she was amazing and not to let anyone tell her otherwise as she too had spent a year under the watchful eyes of the "Aha-ers." Then came my husband's presentation of my little computer generated certificates that I had sweat over, which at this point almost seemed anti-climatic and then was followed by "The Senior Farewell Speeches." After four years together through the good times and the bad, you store up a lot of things that you want to say...and we let them. Each graduating senior of the program gets however long they would like at the podium to say their good-byes. I really did almost cry this time. The ways that this program has affected their lives, they are going into the world different people than their peers who had not experienced the unconditional love of an incredible man that guided them and helped them through some of the most difficult years of their lives to this point.
When it was over, I don't think anyone remembered that we had to have it in the undecorated school cafeteria, that a lot of parents didn't come, that the food was late, that the smoke alarms almost went off and no one would help serve...that I was frantically trying to finish the awards at the last minute. I know that's not what I'll remember most about the night. The storm clouds rolled away and I don't think a drop of rain ever actually fell, because when I went to my car I could see the stars. "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." -- Og Mandino
"Success is what you make it, not what others tell you that it is."
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1 comment:
Excellent post! Truly God worked in your life. Thank you for all of your kind words, your help, your love, and for 15+ wonderful years! No matter what, I will always love you.
<3
DM
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